Supporting Your Piano Pathway
Reflection by Andrew Eales
We often hear self-help gurus encouraging us to stop worrying about what others think of our choices, opinions, abilities, behaviour, or work.
And they have a point: many of us become trapped in the mindset of the “people-pleaser”. If we allow ourselves to be manipulated or bullied by others, we can easily lose sight of our own worth and core values. A decision not to care what others think about us can be emancipating.
But wait. If we stop caring about what others think, how long before we stop caring about them at all?
Mutual understanding of each other’s ideas, feelings and perspectives is a crucial foundation for building empathetic, honest relationships. If we limit ourselves to our own perspective, ignoring the opinions, ideas, insights and beliefs of others, we can quickly become arrogant and indifferent.
As the Chinese saying goes,
“However good your eye-sight, you still can’t see the back of your own head.”
We may not always agree with the opinions of others, but shutting them out fundamentally isolates us, and can limit our potential for growth. Clearly a balance is needed, along with an ability to accept the perspectives of others without feeling belittled.
Establishing Trust
As in our piano playing, so too in life.
As in life, so too in our piano playing.
It seems growing numbers of players are so assertively independent that, at best, they regard the views of teachers and other players as an optional “take-it-or-leave-it” commodity. It is a viewpoint which I countered in some detail in my article Who Needs Piano Lessons Anyway?
The simple truth is that all of us, however good we believe we are, and however much personal satisfaction we presently gain from our playing, can benefit from the advice of other experienced players and teachers. There is always value in getting another, fresh perspective on our playing.
But not all opinions carry equal weight, and when it comes to expert advice on piano playing it is important to establish exactly who we are listening to. It seems obvious that we should establish the expertise of the person who is giving us feedback, and reflect on the quality of our relationship with them. Ask yourself:
- Does the person offering advice just want to show off their own knowledge, are they touting for business, or do they genuinely want to help me?
- Do they have the experience of playing this music well, or at least a good knowledge of the repertoire?
- Are they listening carefully and engaging positively with me?
- Am I looking for the support of a friend or the constructive advice and insight of an expert?
How we answer these questions might give us a clue as to whether we should care about a person’s opinions or not. We can take charge of our personal and pianistic development while also nurturing respectful, honest relationships.
Valuable feedback
But we might notice that sometimes the feedback we are given, invited or otherwise, can be useful even when we don’t feel a particular connection to the individual offering it. The observations of somebody we might not generally agree with, or even particularly like, can present the fresh perspective we were previously missing.
When receiving feedback on your piano playing ask yourself:
- Does the feedback increase my understanding of the music and help me to play it better?
- Does the feedback include practical, physical or technical advice which I might benefit from trying out?
- Does the feedback inspire me musically, get my creative juices flowing, or offer an alternative interpretation of the music which could be interesting to explore?
Maya Angelou once said,
“We do the best we can with what we know,
and when we know better, we do better.”
Are you ready for a fresh perspective on your playing?
Pianodao offers over 700 articles and reviews that are FREE to access.
If you appreciate this content, please support and follow the site here:
