Supporting Your Piano Pathway
Reflection by Andrew Eales
As I return to the Fermata Series after a summer break, some readers will be aware that in the last month I received eye surgery.
The removal of a cataract (even a large, dense one) is usually regarded as a relatively straightforward procedure, and this latest operation was certainly less traumatic than my previous retinal surgeries, even though those added to the risk this time.
Two weeks of rest were recommended, but I opted for just one, only then wondering at the intensity of the ensuing headaches and fatigue. I eventually realised that capping my early return to work with a day trip to speak at a conference in Birmingham would be rather foolish, a point that had already been repeatedly stressed by my ever-patient wife Louise and others.
A sensible colleague reassuringly and rather conclusively suggested,
“Given the surgeon’s advice, it seems wise to consider whether attending the event is the best decision for you right now.”
The Wisdom of others
When difficulty strikes, we have the opportunity to submit to the wisdom, advice, and expertise of others. But too often we allow our fear of failure, rejection or judgment get in the way, however irrational.
In his marvellous book 365 Tao Daily Meditations, Deng Ming-Dao relates the story of finding a helpless bird trapped in his property one evening:
“A dove got caught in the rafters last night.
I had quite a time trying to get her out.
She hit her head several times in panic.
Only when she was stunned was I able to care for her.”
The beauty of this story is perhaps that most of us can relate to it. We have had experiences of trying to carefully free a trapped animal, bird, or insect, only to find our best efforts spurned or refuted by the fearful creature.
Yet we make the same mistake, resisting essential support. We determinedly try to do everything our way, ignoring the sage words and practical care of fellow travellers. Our anxiety can even silence the advice of those we trust the most, our ego haplessly determined to prove that we are right.
Sometimes we might try to fix problems for others, but ignore their wish to reciprocate. We can forget how enriching it can be for us all, when mutual care is allowed to blossom.
It is perhaps when we find ourselves sat in the waiting room for the doctor, the dentist, optician, or surgeon, that we realise how far we have ventured beyond our personal expertise: our ability to fix things proves to be strikingly finite.
In those slow-motion moments, awaiting the help we obviously need, we can rediscover the importance and the wisdom of asking for, and looking to, the support of others. Submitting to their expertise, we learn to trust.
A new term begins
As a new academic season gets underway, and our thoughts turn to piano education, let’s consider how much more effective we can be when we have the wisdom to seek out, listen to, and trust the advice of others.
Should we really need to prove ourselves or compete? We are at our best when we share our gifts, cultivating hearts that are as open to receiving as they are to giving.
It is sensible to exercise caution, and to know when to be circumspect, but we do not have to live in perpetual fear. When we need support, let’s not be slow or too proud to ask for it. And let’s remain generously alert to auspicious opportunities to help and support others.
Whether our need is to find a teacher or mentor to support our continuing piano journey, or our work involves teaching, supporting, and encouraging others, perhaps we can all discover afresh the wisdom of trust.
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