Supporting Your Piano Pathway
Reflection by Andrew Eales
In her acclaimed novel Lessons in Chemistry, Bonnie Garmus cleverly puts into words the observations of the character ‘Six Thirty’, who happens to be the main protagonist’s dog. Here’s an example of Six Thirty’s canine wisdom:
“Humans were strange, Six Thirty thought, the way they constantly battled dirt in their aboveground world, but after death willingly entombed themselves in it.”
A fair point! But perhaps it is our contradictions that both define us, and prove the quality of our connections with one another…
Compare and contrast
Certainly, within the Daoist worldview, ever-present contradictions define all things. The sage Lao-tzu explained the paradox like this:
“Everyone knows that the capacity of kindness
depends on the existence of the unkind…
difficulty and easy complete each other,
long and short shape each other,
sound and silence harmonise each other,
before and after follow each other.”
Lao-tzu, translated Sholala Towler,
Practicing the Tao Te Ching (2016)
Just as these opposites are necessary in order to define, explain and give meaning to each other and to the world around us, so too the contradictions in our inner worlds and personalities add texture and substance to who we are. They elevate us to be more than two-dimensional cardboard cutouts or cartoon caricatures.
None of us can simplify our story to a singular event, or to one season of our journey. However sincere we are in pursuing consistency, our lives tend to be characterised by complexity, conflict, and counterpoint.
Real World Connections
My daughter once had a teacher whose moods were famously unpredictable, a frequent topic of discussion with her school friends. Even before they were teens, these youngsters were developing an understanding that humans are complex beasts, capable of precipitous change, and of airing more than one side of their personality.
Developing such an empathetic understanding of others seems a fundamental element of personal growth. But two decades later I rather fear that this priority, so important for maturity, has less currency.
In the age of social media, messaging and dating apps, the beginnings and endings of any and every relationship are potentially just a few clicks away. It is perhaps becoming more difficult to show our authentic selves and our innate contradictions in a social space that can be so fickle, competitive and judgmental, where context is rarely taken into account, and in which a fear of “cancellation” ever looms.
The juxtaposition between the ‘virtual’ and the real can be awkward. When we hear that a comedian is depressed, or that an outwardly successful influencer is actually struggling with low self-esteem, we can find ourselves as perplexed as we are surprised. The revelation of their hidden contradictions, of their “battles in the dirt”, inexplicably confuses us.
Learning relationships
Learning an instrument with a teacher in the real world, necessarily having to regularly and honestly communicate with somebody who is otherwise a stranger, offers relief from the declining opportunity in today’s world to develop emotional maturity.
A healthy teacher-student relationship offers a safe space in which we learn to pick up on cues, work stuff through, foster realistic expectations of others, navigate and embrace contradictions.
There are many good educational reasons for choosing to learn under the guidance of a teacher, rather than simply plugging into yet another digital app or online course. But I would suggest that the possibility of forming an authentic human connection could be the best reason of all.
Yes, we humans are a pretty strange and contradictory bunch in our aboveground world, but let’s not become entombed down an online rabbit hole, or bury ourselves in isolation just yet. Connected with each other in real life, we are far stronger, happier, and more successful.
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