Pianodao Wellbeing – Page 2

The Pianist’s Humiliation

Supporting Your Piano Pathway
Written by Andrew Eales

Written in partnership with Louise Eales RMN
Louise has more than 30 years of clinical experience as an advanced mental health practitioner, with specialisms in child and adolescent psychiatry, and neurodiversity.
I am grateful for her professional insights, specialist advice, and collaboration in the writing of this important article.

WARNING: The following article discusses and includes accounts of humiliation which might trigger distressing memories or thoughts for some readers.

Humiliation is a deeply painful emotional state caused by public exposure of a person’s mistakes or weaknesses. Recognised by psychologists as one of the most potent of emotions, it can have a long-lasting impact on a person’s self-esteem, wellbeing, and mental health.

A mounting body of research shows the connection between humiliation and social anxiety disorder. Additionally, it is associated with episodes of clinical depression and linked to suicidal ideation or acts.

Humiliation is fundamentally done to us. Neel Burton M.D. explains in his article The Psychology of Humiliation, which appeared in Psychology Today,

“Whereas shame and guilt are primarily the outcome of self-appraisal, embarrassment and humiliation are primarily the outcome of appraisal by one or several others, even if only in thought or imagination. But whereas we bring embarrassment upon ourselves, humiliation is something that is brought upon us.”

Most piano educators, from local teachers to adjudicators, examiners, and conservatoire professors, would balk at the suggestion that we would ever humiliate a student. But realistically, many of us will have inadvertently done so, and will likely also have experienced humiliation ourselves.

We have fostered a culture around piano playing that leaves players of all ages and abilities precariously vulnerable. I find many adults returning to playing recount painful episodes in their piano journey where they have felt humiliated and debilitated.

A Streak of Calm

Fermata • Pause and Reflect

Supporting Your Piano Pathway
Reflection by Andrew Eales

A few years back I purchased an app called Calm, which has subsequently become one of the most popular mindfulness apps around. With its range of guided meditations, ambient music, soundscapes, breathwork exercises and ‘sleep stories’, Calm has grown to become a superb lifestyle resource, and a deserved success.

Interestingly though, Calm also delivers user stats after each session, with a badge showing one’s ‘streaks’ of consecutive days of practice. I’ve regarded this feature with vague amusement; it seems to owe more to the culture of the gambling arcade than to the ethos of the meditation traditions.

There’s even the opportunity to share your official streaks on social media platforms, something I recently did myself having reached the modest achievement of 100 consecutive days, and curious to see whether it would generate much discussion with friends.

But then an odd, and instructive thing happened: it must have been less than a week later that I ‘missed’ a day…

Running in place of horses

Fermata • Pause and Reflect

Supporting Your Piano Pathway
Reflection by Andrew Eales

This striking passage from a classic of ancient Chinese wisdom offers many analogies and images that are worth pondering:

“Don’t run in place of horses,
or you’ll exhaust your strength.
Don’t fly in place of birds,
or you’ll wear out your wings.
Don’t act before others,
so you can observe their examples.
If you stir, you lose your position;
Be calm, and you’ll spontaneously succeed.”

Guanzi, attributed to Guan Yiwu (725-645 BCE), translated Thomas Cleary
The Way of the World: Readings in Chinese Philosophy (2009)

Any mention of horses on a piano-themed website inevitably reminds us of Bartók’s famous quip that “competitions are for horses, not artists”.

Guanzi’s rejection of competition seems to go further, however: compete against a horse in a race, and the horse will likely win. Try to fly like a bird, and your ‘wings’ won’t prove fit for purpose.

Such competition is bizarre, unnatural and entirely pointless. Follow through Guanzi’s thinking, and you’ll soon appreciate that the only living being worth competing with is actually yourself.

Guanzi goes still further, explaining that his admonition not to “run in place of horses” means, “not taking away the capacities of the capable.” In other words, let others be their best selves. Don’t try to take away or replicate their success, steal their identity, or compete for their position.

We can observe and learn from the examples of others without taking away what is rightly theirs, or seeking to replace them. Don’t try to beat or to be somebody else‘s personal best; try to be the best version of yourself.

Spring Awakening

Fermata • Pause and Reflect

Supporting Your Piano Pathway
Reflection by Andrew Eales

The Chinese New Year heralds the fifteen day Spring Festival, and culminates in the Lantern Festival.

It perhaps seems odd to celebrate the arrival of Spring as early as February, several weeks before the equinox, but the stirrings of new life and fresh shoots are surely well under way, and the blossom appearing on the trees in our neighbourhood suggest that the Chinese have it right!

The Year of the Dragon

Fermata • Pause and Reflect

Supporting Your Piano Pathway
Reflection by Andrew Eales

Since ancient times, the Chinese have followed the lunar calendar, New Year coinciding with the first hint of Spring in the northern hemisphere, and this year falling on Saturday 10th February 2024. This date marks the beginning of the celebration of the Spring Festival, which culminates in the Festival of Lanterns on February 24th.

As ever, the year is named after one of the 12 animals of the Chinese zodiac. These are multiplied by the Wuxing ‘Five Element’ concept of traditional Daoist culture to create a 60 year cycle, and within this we are about to enter the Year of the Wood Dragon.

“Oh great!” you may be thinking, “just what we all need: another year of drama, turbulence, disruption, and fire-breathing egos.” But happily, the Year of the Dragon is traditionally an auspicious one in Chinese lore, heralding a time of positive transformation and renewal.