The Pianist’s Reflections

The Pianist’s Humiliation

Supporting Your Piano Pathway
Written by ANDREW EALES

WARNING: The following article discusses and includes accounts of humiliation which might trigger distressing memories or thoughts for some readers.

Louise Eales is an advanced practitioner in child and adolescent mental health, with more than 30 years of clinical experience. I am grateful for her insights and collaboration in the writing of this important article.

Humiliation is a deeply painful emotional state caused by public exposure of a person’s mistakes or weaknesses. Recognised by psychologists as one of the most potent of emotions, it can have a long-lasting impact on a person’s self-esteem, wellbeing, and mental health.

A mounting body of research shows the connection between humiliation and social anxiety disorder. Additionally, it is associated with episodes of clinical depression and linked to suicidal ideation or acts.

Humiliation is fundamentally done to us. In his Psychology Today article The Psychology of Humiliation, Neel Burton M.D. explains,

“Whereas shame and guilt are primarily the outcome of self-appraisal, embarrassment and humiliation are primarily the outcome of appraisal by one or several others, even if only in thought or imagination. One critical respect in which humiliation differs from embarrassment is that, whereas we bring embarrassment upon ourselves, humiliation is something that is brought upon us by others.”

Most piano educators, from local teachers to adjudicators, examiners, and conservatoire professors, would balk at the suggestion that we would ever humiliate a student. But realistically, many of us will have inadvertently done so, and will likely also have experienced humiliation ourselves.

We have fostered a culture around piano playing that leaves players of all ages and abilities precariously vulnerable. I find many adults returning to playing recount painful episodes in their piano journey where they have felt humiliated and debilitated.

The Pianist’s Silence

PATHWAYS FOR WELLBEING

Playing and Living • Beyond the Notes
Written by ANDREW EALES

These days perhaps more than ever, the world is a pretty rowdy place. And by definition, as pianists we add to that noise (albeit of course, very positively!). Lest we lose our way, let’s consider how we might bring a little bit more peace and quiet into our lives.

Okay, so the practicalities of making space for silence in our lives probably require little explanation: surely all we need to do is switch off the gadgets, stop the music, find a spot where we won’t be interrupted, and spend a few minutes quietly minding our own business.

We can (and of course I will…) expand on that. But first we should perhaps consider an important question: why does it matter?

To help answer that, I will offer a few observations about environmental noise, mental chatter, and suggest a few really simple ways to introduce a few moments of respite into our busy daily routines.

The Pianist’s Procrastination

PATHWAYS FOR PLAYING

Supporting Your Piano Pathway
Written by ANDREW EALES

Verse 64 of Lao Tau’s Tao te ching contains perhaps the most famous line in all Daoist philosophy (quoting here from Solala Towler’s rendition):

“The largest tree grows from a tiny shoot.
The highest tower is built brick by brick.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.”

Preceding this great quote, and shedding further light on the philosophy of Daoism, we read in verse 63:

“Deal with the difficult while it is easy.
Create the large from the small.”

These words offer an important blueprint for how we might approach any task, including learning a new piece of piano music.

They also provide us with the ammunition we need in order to stop putting off our practice, and overcome procrastination.

Let’s consider each of these points in turn…

The Pianist’s Breathwork

PATHWAYS FOR WELLBEING

Playing and Living • Beyond the Notes
Written by ANDREW EALES

Breathwork is a form of meditation that relies on the body, rather than the mind, to do the work of calming. It lowers stress by stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system and increasing oxygen to the brain.

Breathing is the first and last thing that we do as humans. And yet most of us breathe in unconscious and restricted ways, leading to dire consequences for our bodies, physical health and emotional wellness.

But as Jennifer Patterson advocates in her brilliant The Power of Breathwork (2020),

“Breathing happens unconsciously all the time, but it can also be consciously and intentionally engaged with. How present you are to your breath is how present you are to your life. By bringing consciousness to the breath you can interrupt automatic responses, reactions, thought patterns, and more.”

During breathwork practice we intentionally focus on and systematically adjust our breathing patterns. Such exercises have been a core element of meditation, yoga (pranayama) practice, and qigong for centuries, but have recently been popularised worldwide by the wellness movement and as a mindfulness technique.

Breathwork is now also recommended by the NHS here in the UK as a tool to overcoming stress. Many find that this practice promotes deep relaxation and leaves them feeling energised.

In this article I am going to consider the value of simple breathwork practice for pianists, explaining how and when it can be a helpful tool, and introducing you to some easy and popular breathwork exercises that you will be able to try for yourself, straight away.

The Pianist’s Limits

PATHWAYS FOR PLAYING

Supporting Your Piano Pathway
Written by ANDREW EALES

Some years ago, a highly successful man from the world of finance approached me for lessons. Essentially a beginner, he had previously tried a few lessons with another teacher locally, and I asked him why it hadn’t worked out.

His explanation amounted to a cautionary tale:

“I told her that I was only interested in learning Beethoven’s Tempest Sonata, but she insisted on trying to teach me dull Grade 1 pieces. I had no interest in learning them, felt unmotivated and annoyed, and made no progress.”

Naturally I tried to explain (as undoubtedly the previous teacher had) that the Tempest is an incredibly difficult work, requiring a range of highly advanced musical and technical skills. It is possible to admire and be inspired by the achievements of the world’s greatest players while enjoying working at our own level.

Alas, he was not for turning, and within a short time the lessons stopped, my name presumably added to the list of stubborn failures who had been unable to teleport him directly into the Tempest without his needing to follow in the footsteps of those pianists who have previously made the journey with success.

Teaching with a sense of structured progression and an underlying curriculum is not a matter of professional hubris or a money-spinning scam; it is the means by which learners can progress towards their goals, realising their potential. It is an act of generosity.

Nor is it negative, lacking in faith or discouraging to recognise that as players we all have our limitations. On the contrary: it is foolish, arrogant and self-defeating to think otherwise. For a start, we don’t know what we don’t know.

Deng Ming-Dao reminds us,

“Every river has its banks,
Every ocean has its shores.”

Deng Ming-Dao, 365 Tao Daily Meditations, Harper Collins

The Pianist’s Self-Care

PATHWAYS FOR WELLBEING

Playing and Living • Beyond the Notes
Written by ANDREW EALES

At the time of writing, most of us are feeling uneasy. We are, after all, in the midst of a global pandemic, concerned for ourselves, our loved ones, our finances, and fearful of what our world might be like in a few months time.

But as we spend more time away from our usual routines, we might also discover a deeper unease. A rock has plunged into the pool of our lives. The ripples are still clearing, and a lot of mud has been churned up. As the waters settle again, we are coming to see things that were perhaps unclear to us before.

As pianists we might hope to see glimpses of answers to life’s most profound questions sat before our piano, absorbed in our playing. And certainly, as I’ve written here before, piano playing can provide a sanctuary from all else that is unfolding around us.

But while some presently find they can use their piano playing as an escape from grim news, many others are experiencing frustration at their lack of motivation, focus and inspiration.

In this entry to The Pianist’s Reflections Series I will consider some basic elements of self-care from a Daoist (Taoist) perspective in the hope that readers will find some helpful suggestions, and that each of us can enjoy a piano journey that reflects an easier, more connected and settled experience of life.

The Pianist’s Imperfection

PATHWAYS FOR WELLBEING

Playing and Living • Beyond the Notes
Written by ANDREW EALES

Recently, my wife Louise had a minor kitchen accident which resulted in her breaking my favourite tea cup. As she tells the story (on her social media):

“So I broke Andrew’s favourite teacup.
I felt I should make him a new one in pottery.
It lists a little bit but it works!
Andrew said that it’s the best thing that anyone has given him. He then went on to say that most people would’ve given up and started again once they noticed the listing.
Clearly I’m not most people!”

As you can see from the photo above, my new cup is a thing of great beauty! But as Louise admits, it’s hardly perfect from a functional point of view. The “listing” perhaps doesn’t look serious, but when pouring tea into the cup it’s quite obvious that when one side is full to the brim, the other side is only two-thirds full.

There’s another problem too. Inside the cup, there are quirky recesses that somehow trap the tea, making it impossible to empty the cup when drinking from it in a genteel, civilised manner. Only tipping it upside down really does the trick!

Here, for comparison, is a cup that has none of these issues:

A bit boring, right?

The beauty of my new mug is in its imperfection: its quirkiness, vibrant personality, its energy. And central to all that, the fact that it was borne of relationship, made with love.

The Pianist’s Air

PATHWAYS FOR WELLBEING

Playing and Living • Beyond the Notes
Written by ANDREW EALES

“Installing air filters in classrooms can raise children’s scores in tests by the same amount as cutting class sizes by a third, research has found… Mike Gilraine, author of the paper and assistant professor of economics at New York University, said the improved scores were equivalent to ‘roughly two-and-a-half months of extra learning’.”

So blazes a news story published in The Times on January 10th 2020. The article quotes from research suggesting,

“The results indicate that air filter installation is a highly cost-effective policy to raise student achievement “

And it goes on to point out that several London schools, having installed air filters in classrooms. have reported reductions in absence because of sickness, which teachers attributed to cleaner air.

Given my previous writing about the centrality of breathing in piano playing, regular readers will no doubt anticipate that none of this comes as a surprise to me; indeed, I believe that quality of air in my teaching studio is a paramount concern, and have encouraged players and teachers to take the issue seriously long prior to these new findings.

In this article I will offer some simple advice about air quality and the need to create a suitable environment for piano learning. But rather than focusing on the educational benefits in isolation, we need to consider the health benefits first and foremost…

The Pianist’s Resolution

PATHWAYS FOR WELLBEING

Playing and Living • Beyond the Notes
Written by ANDREW EALES

The start of any new year or season is for many a time for making resolutions: a time for ambition, grit and determination.

Whether it’s a fresh commitment to healthy eating and exercise, or a renewed self-discipline in setting aside time to practise the piano, this is a month where many make a decision to turn a new leaf.

But how can we foster perseverance and ultimately success?

The Pianist’s Brew

PATHWAYS FOR WELLBEING

Playing and Living • Beyond the Notes
Written by ANDREW EALES

I used to be a coffee addict. Seriously. I had several pots of fresh coffee a day, and when I tried to cut back I experienced acute withdrawal symptoms.

Unfortunately though, coffee has some fairly unhelpful side-effects; among other things, it is especially bad for us if we suffer from anxiety (which is so common among pianists).

Having read about the virtues of tea drinking, I decided to try a switch. My previous experience of tea was the warm, milky, teabag variety. I realised that this is not exactly the drink that the great Daoist sages spoke of, so I jumped into the deep end and started to explore the wide variety of Chinese leaf teas that are available without straying too far from the beaten track.

To cut a long story short, switching to tea has proven one of the best choices I’ve made. Aside from tea drinking being better for my health (physical and emotional), my exploration of different Chinese teas has become a fascinating and absorbing journey in its own right.

It may seem odd to encounter an article about tea drinking on a piano site, but I will explain some of the reasons why tea might actually be the perfect brew for all pianists (and, well, people in general). Also bear in mind that Pianodao addresses my interest in Daoist philosophy and practices; hence the “dao” part of the site name. Tea drinking is so embedded in Daoist culture and practice and that it might as well be described as a core tenet of the Daoist worldview.

As the contemporary Daoist master Zhongxian Wu explains:

“Pin Ming Lun Dao is a commonly used Chinese phrase which means ‘to discuss and understand the Dao through the taste of tea‘. This phrase embodies the lifestyle of the most traditional Chinese sages and scholars, whether they be a master of Daoism,, Confucianism, Buddhism, martial arts, music, calligraphy, and/or Traditional Chinese Medicine.”

foreword to Daniel Reid, The Art and Alchemy of Chinese Tea, Singing Dragon, 2011.

With all this in mind, this article will address the following questions:

Why is tea good for pianists (and people in general)?
How does one get started with drinking Chinese tea?
What different types of tea are there?

Tea is by far the single most popular beverage on earth today, so chances are that many reading this are already tea drinkers.

I hope that for those readers, the article will add to your enjoyment of tea, while for those who haven’t yet considered this fascinating subject my hope is that this article will pique your interest, and give you good reason to try something new!

Let’s start by going back in time….

The Pianist’s Accomplishment

THE FERMATA SERIES

Pianodao’s weekly series of reflective blog posts
Written by ANDREW EALES

”In the beginning of training, it may seem as if you are doing very little. You compare yourself to your teachers and to more accomplished people, and you may despair at ever reaching their levels.
But if you are diligent, then it is inevitable that you will make something of yourself. Once you reach such a plateau, you will be able to relax a bit and contemplate where you are on your journey.”

Deng Ming-Dao, 365 Tao Daily Mediations (204).

Piano students (and adult learners in particular) often underestimate the time it will take to become proficient players, to play the music they aspire to, and to sound as good as they hoped.

When newcomers ask me, “how long until I can play really well?” I typically answer, “How does ten years sound?” It’s an easy (if entirely random) guess, but the point is the aspiring pianist’s response:

Are they mentally prepared for the climb ahead?

Scaling the peaks

The idea that after ”ten years” a player will be attempting advanced repertoire isn’t entirely incorrect. It can be qualified by pointing out that if “really well” equates to ABRSM Grade 8, many who start as children progress by around one grade level a year. Unless they make exceptional progress, young beginners who stick the course can expect to be attempting the higher grades in their mid to late teens.

Similarly, an adult who takes up piano playing in their forties, though a few may make exceptionally faster progress, should not be surprised to find themselves still taking lessons in their fifties and sixties. There is simply no end to learning.

If patience is really a virtue, there’s an irony in the fact that for most of us it takes time to develop it. Piano playing is surely a profoundly rewarding way of doing just that, and must be approached with a recognition that maturity develops over many years.

But there’s a much more important truth, which I quickly bring up. Unless something is very amiss, we do not finally begin to enjoy playing music only once we reach the more advanced stages of playing.

Arrival

The Elementary and Intermediate repertoires are full of expressive gems, and can be approached with an appropriate sense of wonder and gratitude. Many of the world’s most beloved piano pieces are relatively easy to play and appreciate.

We may wish our skills could be multiplied, but often moving a single step at a time counts for more. One PLUS One is actually more than One TIMES One, and it is foolish to miss out steps along the way. Weaknesses in our playing can lead to us losing our footing long before we reach the upper summits.

And ultimately, piano playing is a JOURNEY with no fixed destination, and if we don’t take time to enjoy the scenery we miss the opportunity of a lifetime!

EVERY STEP of the journey is a real ACCOMPLISHMENT, and one in which the player should take personal satisfaction and find musical engagement and reward. Who really needs shortcuts? Learning to appreciate each moment leads to a rewarding lifetime of happiness and health.

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The Pianist’s Motivations

PATHWAYS FOR PLAYING

Supporting Your Piano Pathway
Written by ANDREW EALES

What is it that motivates us as pianists?
Why did we start learning to play the piano? ..
And why do we continue to play?
What are our piano goals for the future? ..
And how do they excite us?
How can we motivate and inspire our students?

Ask these questions to a hundred pianists, and there’s a good chance you will hear a hundred different answers, but common themes will likely emerge.

In this article I am going to consider the many and complex motivations we all experience in life, and how they pertain to our piano playing.

The Pianist’s Kindness

PATHWAYS FOR WELLBEING

Playing and Living • Beyond the Notes
Written by ANDREW EALES

As I write this, I am in India on a yoga retreat. Each day here begins sat on the floor together, listening to a reflective discourse on the ethics outlined in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, the classic text that provides the start point from which all yoga theory subsequently developed.

The first, foundational ethic presented by Patanjali was ahimsa, which can be literally translated no harm, and essentially means be kind.

Without kindness, there can be no true yoga. And yet, as our teacher wryly and rather decisively noted:

“There are plenty of people in this world who can touch their toes, but who are still basically arseholes!”

As usual, what is true in one field can equally apply in another, and certainly from my own observations of pianists, both in online forums and the ‘real world’, there are plenty of very fine piano players and teachers who seem to be somewhat lacking in kindness towards others.

So how can we encourage the piano community to be a kinder one? Let’s sit together and reflect on the meaning of ahimsa…

The Pianist’s Overthinking

PATHWAYS FOR WELLBEING

Playing and Living • Beyond the Notes
Written by ANDREW EALES

“Leave your thoughts in a place you will not visit …”

Most of the pianists that I have met are easy to describe as “deep thinkers”, and I would argue that an aptitude for analytical thinking is an essential skill for the advanced piano player.

But the jump from analytical thinking to overthinking is a small one. And here’s the problem. In recent years, we have become increasingly aware that overthinking any problem can break rather than solve it, and can often lead us to bizarre conclusions. Overthinking is inextricably linked to anxiety.

If we overthink an upcoming performance, this can undoubtedly contribute to performance anxiety. And in the same way, if we overthink life in general, this can have a significant and debilitating effect on our whole lives.

A growing body of research supports our suspicions that many physical health problems are rooted in the activities of the mind. Overthinking can be associated with anxiety, fear, paranoia and mental instability, all of which can have serious physical as well as social consequences.

The Pianist’s Emotions

PATHWAYS FOR WELLBEING

Playing and Living • Beyond the Notes
Written by ANDREW EALES

Emotions are an essential aspect of our basic humanity. But when they are out of balance they can become problematic, with the potential to leave us feeling shipwrecked and adrift.

The Problem for Pianists

Of course this is true for everyone, but for piano players (and performers in general) there can be some additional challenges, and the back-and-forth swing from over-excitement to terrible disappointment can become our daily emotional landscape:

We are exposed to powerful and profound emotions, communicated wordlessly by some of the most creative people in history
We must engage with our own emotions, those of the composer, and in performance with those of our audiences
We work often in solitude, with few alternative emotional outlets beyond musical expression
The touring of the concert pianist, and the long, often antisocial hours of teaching can strain our physical and social wellbeing
The piano world can be a hyper-competitive one that leaves many with low self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy and a crippling sense of failure

We contend with all these issues as an added factor on our journey through life, alongside the same emotional challenges that everyone else has to cope with in their personal lives, family, security, and health .

It is little wonder that so many pianists sustain significant emotional damage and suffer from mental health problems. A recent survey by The Stage suggested that seven out of ten musicians report mental health problems, while a study conducted by Entertainment Assist in Australia found that musicians are up to ten times more likely to have mental health problems than the general population.

What we need is emotional wisdom: the self-awareness that helps us keep our emotions in check, balanced and healthy.

The Pianist’s Lineage

PATHWAYS FOR PLAYING

Supporting Your Piano Pathway
Written by ANDREW EALES

Until quite recently it never occurred to me to consider who my teacher’s teacher’s teacher’s teacher was. But then I realised (somewhat inadvertently while looking into the history of piano teaching) that my teacher’s teacher’s teacher’s teacher was none other than Franz Liszt, perhaps the greatest and most influential pianist of all time.

At which point I decided it was time to give the matter more serious thought…

Now let’s get this bit over with quickly, because (as we shall see) I’m really not about to claim my “lineage” endows me with any special status or ability. But here it is:

My final teacher at college (in the 1980s), Joseph Weingarten (1911-1996)
In his own student years in Budapest, Joseph had studied with (among others) the great pianist and composer Ernő Dohnányi (1877-1960).
Dohnányi had been a student of István Thomán (1862-1940) and Eugen d’Albert (1864-1932), both students of Franz Liszt (1811-1886).
Liszt, incidentally, was a student of Carl Czerny (1791-1857), who in turn was a student of Ludwig Van Beethoven (1770-1827).
And would it be rude to mention that Beethoven had lessons with Haydn and Mozart?

THUD! There’s the sound of some pretty heavy name-dropping!

And if you are interested in tracing your own legacy, this information on Wikipedia is a helpful resource.